ATTENTION SEEKERS

When we see the two words attention seekers we automatically have the mindset to assume that these individuals are willing to do bad or degrading things to get attention but not all individuals seek attention by doing "bad" or degrading things. some people seek attention by engaging in more appropriate behavior such as striving for success or recognition. I would like to address both types of attention seekers and possibly explain why these people feel the need to seek attention and appraisal from others.

I would like to begin with the inappropriate behaviors of attention seeking because this is the type of behavior that should be changed into positive or appropriate behavior in an effort to at least rule out any chances of sending the wrong signals and accepting you for who you are and satisfying yourself. Jealousy, lack of self worth, arrogant or overconfident, feelings of neglect due to a lack of attention from parents as a child or being a part of an abusive household as a child and/or being Narcissist ( a personality disorder in which the person falls in love with themselves, has an inflated self worth, feels invulnerable and thinks they are better than most) are all reasons why some of us may strive for attention.

Having any of the characteristics mentioned above could make an individual act inappropriately in order to receive the attention they feel like they may have been robbed of or that may have been lacking as a child. Adults who seek attention are more than likely promiscuous, down for whatever (needing that approval or that chance to prove whatever they feel they need to prove to others), clingy, very emotional and dramatic (the dramatic part describes me to a certain degree), and being violent could play a part in seeking attention or could be due to more elevated situations or circumstances.

One thing we must always remember is that the most important approval and attention we need HAS to come from within ourselves. If we do not feel worthy of ourselves there is no way anyone else will be able to no matter how hard we try. Once you are comfortable in your own skin (and just because you have convinced yourself that you are, that does not necessarily mean that is the case because we are very good at seeing what we want to see and judging ourselves very mildly due to denial) and have faced any and all realities that are or have become a hindrance to you, you will be able to not only accurately judge yourself but you will be able to clearly see that your own approval is all that matters. Being promiscuous and doing inappropriate things will not allow others to gain respect for you. People will see you for who you display yourself as and not who you really are, so if you are okay with others seeing you as promiscuous and an easy lay then you are on the right path but if it is respect you demand then you have to first have respect for yourself.

It is okay to love yourself but not so much that you need to prove to others how much you have to offer especially if others consist of many people. Sometimes breaking away from the scene and becoming absent for a while will draw people to you in a more positive manner. When you are constantly "showing your behind" you have not only made an obstacle and a name for yourself but you have become like a rubik's cube (a little difficult and interesting at first but after a while of the same old stuff, you are now a bore and your behavior has become expected and obvious. Be daring to the point where others are curious and have the urge to know more about you, try not to give them all of you at once just because you feel you need the attention. You don't need their approval or attention as long as you have your own.

The same applies for individuals who seek attention by engaging in constructive behavior. It is great to want to strive for success and to be recognized for your hard work but DO NOT base how well and hard you strive for your own success on the reaction you may or may not receive from others and PLEASE DO NOT do things that will enable you to be recognized in a positive light just to gain the approval and appreciation of others, do what you do because you LOVE to do it and because it is what makes YOU happy. I am still working hard on taking my own advice because I have my own ways of seeking attention and now that I have been honest with myself and accepted the fact that I have these issues, I can now work on me and changing my behavior to reflect the approval, love and attention of my self first and foremost which will enable to clearly see that NEEDING that from others is no where in my dialogue. I hope that I have in some way educated and inspired some of you to be honest with yourself, accept and forgive your past differences and move on in life on a more positive note where YOU are the center and the surrounding audience of all the attention you will ever need and want. Please do not be pessimistic and assume that I am stating that you should not take into consideration the opinions and advice of others because I am not, I am simply saying that others thoughts, opinions and attention should not be the driving force behind what it is that you do.

STATEMENT OF THE DAY:

HUMAN BEINGS ARE SOCIAL CREATURES AND NEED SOCIAL INTERACTION, FEEDBACK, AND VALIDATION OF THEIR WORTH. THE EMOTIONALLY MATURE PERSON DOESN'T NEED TO GO HUNTING FOR THESE; THEY GAIN IT NATURALLY FROM THEIR OWN DAILY LIFE.

PEACE, LOVE AND BLESSINGS. ....

WHY CAN'T ONE BE JUST ENOUGH???

Sometimes I sit and I wonder, "why can't one be just enough". I know we have all been through some times in our lives when we feel we need multiple partners to satisfy our many different needs. We have the one who provides great sex, the one who is a great listener, the one who pay like he/she weighs, the one who gives great fellatio, the one that can cook us a good meal, the one who is the charmer and the romancer and there is always that one that is the fall dummy when the ones we really want are not available, you know, that good for nothing one but it beats a blank one!!!

I see and hear so many men, women, boys, girls talking about sex and head all the time. Wouldn't it be nice to get all you need from just that one special person? Some of you are probably reading this saying, "yeah right, that will never happen" but it can, it has and it will. Finding that special all around individual is like buying a house, you may get the big yard, big bedrooms, updated appliances but there will only be one bathroom that is very tiny. You find everything you want in that individual/home yet there will always be that one thing that is wrong. So you ask yourself what can I do to fix this, and you know that you will shed blood, sweat and tears to get that home right but little effort goes into getting that individual right. We all too often listen to that saying that goes, "you can't change a person" and maybe you can't but you can damn sure help them change themselves.

Work on that individual, put in the time, be patient. If they have all that you are looking for and just need some minor improvements it is more beneficial to work with them versus going out and getting a boyfriend/girlfriend #2,3,4. Trust and believe boyfriend/girlfriend #2,3,4 will have a boyfriend/girlfriend 5,6 and 7. That is just too much juice swapping for me, all because we can't find the time to work with the 1 we have. Compliment your partner, communicate with them, keep the fighting and arguing to a minimum or almost non existent, please them to the best of your ability and always remind them how important they are in your life.

I am not saying this will definitely ensure that your partner will not stray because there are some people who just can't phantom the thought of being with just one person so you can jump over the moon and back and they are still going to do them (if and when you run across this type of individual, run as fast as you can, no matter how hard you try, there is no fixing that type of individual) but being all that you can be in a relationship with just 1 person will increase your chances of longevity and a happy, healthy, disease free living. If your man/woman tells you they need more of you, they are not being selfish or clingy, they are letting you know that there is someone else out there ready, able and willing to provide it if you won't so that is one way we can ensure 1 will be enough by listening to our partners, putting our pride to the side and fulfilling their every need.

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST OF LUCK IN LOVE AND LIFE AND REMEMBER DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT THEM TO DO UNTO YOU, SO IF YOUR PRIDE IS TO THE SKY AND YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU DON'T HAVE TO HUMBLE YOURSELF SOMETIMES, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE TREATED AS SUCH

Where There is a Good Man, There Will be a Good Woman

All too often we ask ourselves, "Why can't I find a GOOD man/woman". Well if we search deep within ourselves we will find that answer. I can tell you two very possible answers right up front and number one would be: You once had a good man/woman and did not know how to treat them because you were not sure what you wanted and/or what you had, number two: that good man/woman you are looking for is staring you right in your face but you may be too stuck on the "uh uh can't be" to even notice it.

Sometimes we have to step out of the box and go beyond our means and our comfort zone to get what it is we are really looking for in a man/woman. To a woman, men were always our heroes and our warriors. They were the providers, the protectors, the lover and the listener. Some where along the way most men forgot how to be those things. They felt a sense of "I am doing too much". Somewhere along the way men decided that a woman was not worth providing for, protecting or even listening to so man begin to treat woman like a disposable napkin and using her to satisfy his needs and tossing her in the waste basket when he picked up a new one. Some men didn't even toss the old one to get a new one, they would just have many of them at once. Somewhere along the way men stopped caring about the affect they were having on woman and when the woman realized what was going on, somewhere along the way women stopped looking to men to be their hero and their warrior. They were taught how to treat men like a disposable napkin and use him up and toss him to the side to get a new one. Women forgot the value of their worth and therefore they are unable to give their all to their man. I don't mean to sound biased but I am speaking from a woman's perspective and I know that not all men forgot how to treat a woman because those who did not forget, probably have a GOOD woman on their arm at this moment.

Ladies and Gentlemen take a moment and remember your worth, remember how to respect one another, remember how to love one another, remember how to communicate with one another. Treat your body like a prized possession and not just a prize waiting to be claimed by the next lucky winner. Once we remember how to treat, love and communicate again, we should have no problems finding a GOOD man/woman because they will give you the same respect you give them. MOST IMPORTANTLY LOVE YOURSELF FIRST BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE ELSE WILL BE ABLE TO BECAUSE YOU WON'T NO HOW TO ACCEPT IT....*PEACE, LOVE AND BLESSINGS*